no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
