Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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