you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
