I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
