I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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