I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
