Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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