dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
