Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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