So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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