question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
