Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
