You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
