I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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