Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
