Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
