i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
