I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
