I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
