No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
