Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize