I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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