Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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