New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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