Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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