I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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