I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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