is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
