I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
