Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
