It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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