I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
