We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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