she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
