I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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