Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
