Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm determined to sit on that face.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
