Plan B is the new Plan A
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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