Do you still have your period?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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