it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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