i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
