I hate your face
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
