I'm lost and stupid without you.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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