Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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