shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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