i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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