fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
