Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize