Someone shit on the floor
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize