she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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