I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
