Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize