So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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