lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
