We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
