Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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